Almost every church is struggling today. No one
feels the weight of the struggle more than pastors. Most pastors have
truly given their lives to service in the Lord’s work and to see minimal
amounts of fruit produced often brings deep sorrow. Further, to see the
petty things many church members worry about and how childish adults can act at
times only contributes to frustration. The research done by Denise George
into these matters is insightful, but it is of little value if only pastors
know about it. Five years ago, after reading her book, I realized laymen
needed to become aware of the facts George presents in her book What Pastors
Wish Church Members Knew.
Allen Raynor Weblog: “What Pastors Wish Church Members
Knew”
(Aug. 9, 2012)
The view from the other side of the
pulpit is sometimes misunderstood. Pastors have had the privilege of
seeing things from the vantage point of both laymen, and as pastors.
Unfortunately the way things look from the congregation side is quite different
than from the pastor side. Pastors face challenges that can hardly be
imagined by most church members. The deeper a person gets into leadership
positions in the church, the more they are able to see what the pastor faces;
however, even then it is but a glimpse.
Both internal and external pressures are affecting pastors today like never
before. In her 2009 book What Pastors Wish Church Members Knew:
Helping People Understand and Appreciate Their Leaders, author Denise
George writes from the unique position of being a pastor’s wife, a pastor’s
mother, a pastor’s daughter, and a pastor’s granddaughter. Seeing and
processing pastoral ministry from a variety of perspectives has equipped her to
write concerning issues that pastors face. However, rather than merely
writing about her own observations and experiences she has, through extensive
research, let the pastors tell in their own words what they face. The
book is a collection of responses to survey questions gauging the gamut of life
and work as a pastor. This book needs to be read by every church-member
in America for the purpose of gaining a better understanding of the reality
their pastors face each day. In so doing congregations can better pray
for, encourage, and understand their leaders.
In this current cultural climate pastors feel enormous pressure. George
quotes Kevin McGhee who wrote in the December 21, 2007 issue of The
Examiner, “Dwindling church attendance is affecting many churches today,
and the situation often causes today’s church pastors great spiritual
angst. A recent study of 350,000 evangelical churches in America showed
that four out of five have either plateaued or are declining and no county in
America has a larger church population than it did ten years ago. The
study also showed that a ‘significant percentage of those who have attended
church in recent years are either ‘stalled’ in their spiritual growth or
‘dissatisfied’ with their current church.’”
Pastors, all around the nation, respond to question after question posed by
George. The list covers family life, marriage, parenting, hurt, pain,
victory, defeat, success, calling, hopes, dreams, finances, disappointments,
etc. Many pastors share the ways they have been hurt by members of the same
congregations they love so dearly. They recall blatant lies being spread
about them, their motives being questioned, their call being questioned, even
their commitments to Christ. They recall times of being attacked for
perceived shortcomings only minutes or seconds from stepping into the pulpit to
preach. They recall times of being challenged and/or demeaned as they
greet people upon exiting the sanctuary after the Sunday sermon. Many
pastors fear going on vacation believing they could be fired while away,
knowing of other pastors to whom it has actually happened. Many recall
feeling pressure knowing that someone is seemingly always trying to get them to
bend rules and policies in their favor all the while expecting strict
enforcement of the same rules and policies for others. Many pastors
shared the hurt their family had experienced because of the way their families
were treated. Pastor’s kids, many shared, were assessed differently than
the other kids of the church. Many pastors shared how that while most of
their congregations lived comfortably they were expected to live on a
shoestring and apparently be happy and content doing so along with their wife
and kids. Many shared the hurt they had repeatedly experienced as person
after person came to them with problems and issues seeking forgiveness and
understanding from the pastor and even the church, but when the pastor had any
type of perceived failing there was strong reluctance to forgive him or a
member of his family. Pastor after pastor lamented the fact they seemed
to have so little time for prayer, reading, study, and sermon preparation as
other demands of a pastor seemed to always pull them in different directions,
yet they are expected to have a fresh Word from God each time they step into
the pulpit. Many pastors shared the hurt from feeling they had poured
their life into a church only to be thrown under the bus.
Interestingly enough, despite all the hurt and negative aspects to this book,
there are many positives as well. Even though many have felt the sharp
sting of ministry many times, the vast majority of pastors still felt a great
deal of satisfaction in their labor and were quick to appeal to a calling God
had placed upon their lives. Near the end of the book, George quotes one
pastor who sums up the hopes and dreams of every pastor: “I dream of leading
and pastoring a group of people who embrace spiritual gifts, their own calls to
ministry, and start taking kingdom-living more seriously than they take their
own comforts, likes, and preferences. I also dream of doing team ministry
with loyal, loving friends who also love Jesus and his ways more than anything
else – people I can really do life with, even when things are hard.” (165)
Truly, pastors would not do what they do for long if they did not sense a much
higher calling, but the people of God can come alongside their leaders and make
the labor of ministry much more enjoyable and less stressful for the pastor and
his family. This book gives tremendous insight to the struggles faced by
pastors. It is a much needed read for all Christian laymen.
In Christ,
Dr. Allen Raynor, Pastor
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